An honest question: do you actually feel close to God?

The desire to feel close to God is itself a grace — it shows He is already drawing you toward Himself.

The Church teaches that closeness to God is cultivated primarily through prayer, the sacraments, and charity. The Catechism says, "Prayer is the raising of one's mind and heart to God" (CCC §2559), and that "the life of prayer is the habit of being in the presence of God" (CCC §2565). This "habit" suggests that intimacy with God is built slowly, through fidelity, not always through intense feeling.

St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Ávila — both Doctors of the Church — teach that spiritual dryness is often a sign of deeper purification, not abandonment. The Catechism acknowledges this: "The habitual difficulty in prayer is distraction... To set about hunting down distractions would be to fall into their trap, when all that is necessary is to turn back to our heart" (CCC §2729). Mother Teresa's decades of darkness, as you mention, didn't indicate God's absence — she remained radically faithful, and the Church now honors her as a saint.

What practically helps? Frequent Confession and the Eucharist — the Catechism calls the Eucharist "the source and summit of the Christian life" (CCC §1324). Daily prayer, even brief. Lectio divina with Scripture. And acts of love for neighbor: "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (Mt 25:40). Closeness to God isn't always felt, but it can always be chosen.